Not Yet
by mugglemin
Summary: For the benefit of the wizarding world, Albus and Minerva must make a sacrifice. Will their friendship survive? ADMM Turn back now if you don't like this ship! Rating for later chapters. Correct chapter 3 reposted.
1. Chapter 1

**Not Yet: Chapter 1**

The door closed quietly behind them and both turned to gaze at it as the click of the key turning in the lock sounded both their doom and their survival. There was no way out now till morning. No way out without the fulfilment of the requirements listed that would save them. No way out without a supreme sacrifice.

Dumbledore cleared his throat awkwardly and motioned to Minerva to sit down. She did so, keeping her eyes to the floor, her face the very picture of misery, he thought. She sat stiffly on the sofa, her hands in her lap, her eyes closed. Her head was bowed, she might have been praying but for the movement of her fingers, which laced and unlaced themselves seemingly without her direction.

_She cannot bear to look at me._ He said to himself. The idea was painful to him, and certainly not conducive to the evening's task. How on earth was he going to be able to…it was beyond imagining, and went against every sense of decency he held. _Abominable, what I must do. _He thought. _One day, I had hoped__…but not yet, not like this! That it should happen like this!_

He let out a huge sigh, and Minerva opened her eyes. _He is horrified. _ She thought to herself, the notion of his distaste cutting to her very soul. _How on earth can we do this? _Her eyes filled with tears as he took a seat beside her. She felt an almost uncontrollable urge to apologise to him, as if it were her fault that they were trapped in this uncomfortable situation, as if somehow her secret years of yearning had betrayed her and conspired to bring them to this. _Be careful what you wish for_…

He saw her tears and reached out a hand to wipe them away.

"Forgive me, Minerva," He said. "for what I must do tonight." His voice was barely audible, cracked and rugged under the strain of his intense emotion.

She shook her head, and moved towards him, taking him in her arms and holding him so tightly that he thought she was trying to squeeze the breath out of him. His sense of humour resurfaced momentarily as he considered that that may be exactly what she was trying to do - suffocate him and prevent him from carrying out his dreadful charge. But she quickly let go, stroking his cheeks gently as she cried more tears, whispering that he was being ridiculous, that it was no one's fault. It was the only way.

"Whatever will become of us, Albus?" She asked, her hands trembling as she smoothed his beard.

He shook his head and took her hand in his.

"We will go on. We are Gryffindors after all." He smiled wryly. "And I have faith in _us_. In our friendship and respect for one another."

For a brief moment, they sat together, hands clasped, in their first comfortable moment since the door had locked behind them, concentrating on all that they had gained in their forty years of friendship and marvelling at the many hurdles they had overcome together. Would they overcome this one Minerva wondered? Would their friendship remain untarnished when the door unlocked the next morning?

Their musings turned to all that they risked, and the moment was gone. She took a deep breath and looked towards the table.

"Perhaps a game of chess might help us relax?" She suggested. "We have until morning, after all."

He smiled slightly and nodded at the suggestion, and together they set up the board, working methodically and in silence, placing their own pieces in the appropriate positions, concentrating on the task at hand and desperately trying to avoid the others' eye. Where before Albus had always clumsily set up his pieces, knocking them over with his sleeves and laughing as they shouted at him to be more careful, his hands brushing against Minerva's as together they replaced the fallen figures, now his precision betrayed his discomfort. He was afraid to touch her, afraid that he would betray his secret self, afraid of setting events in motion. It was not time. _Not yet_.

Minerva sighed to herself. _Look what it has done to us already. _She thought. _We can barely look at each other_. She chanced a quick glance at his face, and found his blue eyes gazing back at her. He looked down at his pieces and then back into her eyes and smiled slightly.

"Look, Minerva!" He cried, almost managing to speak with the boyish charm that was so familiar and so dear to her. "I've managed to set them up without knocking down one!"

She congratulated him with a small smile of her own, and they began the game.


	2. Chapter 2

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Not Yet: Chapter 2

The chess pieces had been packed away. His white night had defeated her Queen quickly and easily. Clearly, her mind had not been on the game.

They sat in silence across the table from each other for what seemed like an hour but was in fact only five minutes, before Albus decided that it was his turn to suggest a method of relaxation.

"Would you care for some wine?" He asked. She nodded and moved to the sofa. They drank the first glass in silence, and the second with limited, awkward conversation centred on safe topics. When Minerva poured him a third glass, Albus stopped her half way and said matter of factly:

"I'd better not have too much, Minerva, or I might not be able to…" He stopped as the meaning of his words hit him. The thought had just popped out without his permission, and he blushed crimson as he tried to remedy his mistake "…I might fall asleep."

Minerva turned her head away from him and pursed her lips. Her eyes were closed and her shoulders were shaking. _Great Merlin!_ He thought_ She's going to break into sobs! _He moved to her side and laid his hand on her arm. She turned back to him and he saw tears in her eyes. But he also saw mirth and as he sighed a sigh of release, Minerva let out an unladylike snort and began to laugh uncontrollably until she could no longer sit up straight. Albus laughed with her, half embarrassed, half relieved that he was seeing HIS Minerva again, and not the mortified and wretched creature whose company he had been keeping for the past two hours. They laughed as they had not laughed together for months, fighting hard to regain their composure, but failing miserably as soon as they met the other's eye.

Minerva leaned back on the cushion, her eyes half closed, a contented smile on her lips. _She's so lovely I could eat her _He thought. _If things stay like this, perhaps tonight will not be so awful…_

He flashed her a wicked smile.

"You know it's very bad for a man's self esteem for a woman to laugh at him over such things!"

Minerva sniggered again and tried to hit him with the cushion she held clasped to her stomach as she laughed. She felt warm inside and almost happy as they joked together, his eyes smiling on her like the sunlight her animagus form craved. _This is us _she thought. _This is how we are. It could almost be right…_

"Well then perhaps, Professor Dumbledore, we should get ready for bed now, just in case." She laughed. _Where had that come from! _she wondered. She blushed a little, but the alcohol had fortified her courage and she did not look away from him. "While the wine is still having a positive effect." she finished.

His smile did not fade, but she saw his eyebrows raise a tiny fraction with surprise. Her courage deserted her and she tried to look away. _It had been too soon. Not yet! _He caught her chin with his hand.

"I think that that is a very sensible idea, Professor McGonagall." He said gently. "Won't you take the bathroom first?"

She smiled quickly, squeezing his hand lightly as she departed for the bathroom, her tartan dressing gown thrown over her arm, her step quick and sure.


	3. Chapter 3

Not Yet: Chapter 3

Large hands with long fingers gently traced lines across her belly from top to bottom and back again. They dared not venture further. _Not yet_. Instead, they explored every inch of bare skin in this small area, twisting and turning fingers and hands from back to front to savour the different sensations of rough against smooth, tracing circles and patterns with only a fingertip, drawing goose bumps and gentle sighs, heightening hidden desires and needs.

Minerva quivered under his gentle touch and tried to resist the spasm his tickling fingers triggered. She allowed herself to forget for a moment that he was not here by choice - that _they _had had no choice - and gave herself up to the sensation of his hands. She closed her eyes and sighed with pleasure, allowing her fantasy of nearly forty years to overrun her thoughts. As she relaxed, her arms lifted above her head and rested against the headboard of the bed. She felt a first flush of arousal between her legs and arched her body slightly. The touch of his hand was exciting her and drawing her so deep into her fantasy that she was sure she would implode if he ever stopped.

As she was thinking this, she felt the slight and wispy sensation of his beard on her stomach and then…

Albus had run out of space on Minerva's belly on which to trace the designs his desire inspired. He moved his hand to her side, the material of her dressing gown shifting slightly as he ran his hand under it, revealing a glimpse of the edge of one of her breasts as his hand traced the skin to its' side. Yet he was afraid to touch it. _Not yet_. Instead, he moved his mouth to barely a millimetre from her skin and gently blew. And then he closed his eyes and allowed himself to do one thing he had been dreaming of doing for years. He kissed her skin.

She gasped again at the feeling of his breath so close to her body and her back arched uncontrollably, pushing her stomach towards him. She bit her lip in a vain attempt to stifle her moan but any attempt to restrain herself was futile as his lips touched her bare flesh and she was lost. She had never felt so aroused in her life, and was certain that her time was soon. She tried to pull herself out of the fantasy she had slipped into, but it was too late. The dull ache of desire spread from her belly to below and she gasped at the exquisite torment, her eyes filling with tears at the beauty of this man she loved and the gentleness of his caress. She felt her moment drawing close, when suddenly his hand began to tentatively trace a line from her knee to her inner thigh, drawing the material of her dressing gown up as it rose, and she could hold back no longer. She burst.

"Albus!" she cried his name in triumph, her body convulsing with pleasure and by this very action, knocking him away from her. It had been so sudden, her cry so sharp, that he drew back with concern, certain that she was angry.

"Minerva?" He was confused.

She waited for her breathing to slow and the tears of her rapture to evaporate before she turned back to look at him. He looked cross. She was ashamed that she had made such use of him, that she had gained pleasure from something that could only be a torment to him. Her misery threatened to crack her mask. She could not risk exposing herself to him. _Not yet_. Gradually she regained her breath and sat up, drawing her open dressing gown back over her exposed flesh. She could not look him in the eye as she said it, and she hated herself for it afterwards, but she was so ashamed…

"It tickles!"

Albus was left kneeling on the bed, completely flummoxed as Minerva disappeared into the bathroom in a flurry of tartan.


	4. Chapter 4

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Not Yet: Chapter 4

Albus Dumbledore groaned openly with pleasure as he lay on his stomach, his head rested on his arms, Minerva's hands kneading his back through his dressing gown. Her movements were hard and somewhat painful, but their effect was astounding. She had begun with his shoulders and neck, and was now working her way down his left leg. He felt her weight upon him as she worked, her body slight but strong, resting against his own for support as she stretched his limbs further than he had ever thought they could go.

"Ouch!" He protested, jokingly. "Not all of us have an inner cat, you know!"

"Hush!" Minerva held his ankle in her hand and rolled his foot one way and then the other, sitting on his backside as she worked. Then she placed her foot against the back of his thigh and pulled his leg towards her. He let out a sigh as she released him. The entire massage would take about two hours of time that was becoming precious, but she hoped that it would have the desired effect. If he was relaxed enough, perhaps she could take control and release him from his burden.

Minerva had returned from the bathroom remorseful and embarrassed. She had stayed in there for nearly half an hour, trying to wash the redness from her eyes, attempting to control her thoughts and prevent them from straying to the image of his face as she called his name. _Was it horror? Irritation? Or confusion?_ She did not know. But she did know that she was wasting valuable time.

She had emerged from the bathroom to find Albus sitting on the side of the bed that he had chosen, his head in his hands. Her heart was filled with sorrow as she looked at him from across the room. She moved to the bed, climbed on and knelt behind him, placing her hands on his shoulders.

"I am sorry, Albus. I didn't mean to…" she felt tears threaten her again. "I was just surprised…"

He turned to face her and looked directly into her eyes.

"I do not know how to proceed, Minerva." He said, miserably. "How can I do this without hurting or shaming you?"

The full meaning of his words suddenly impacted on her. _He thinks it is all up to him!_ She realised that he felt he was carrying the burden for both of them. He thought that she would come to hate him for what _he_ would do to _her_. He did not understand that to _her_ the risk of loosing _him _was just as terrifying.

She tried to make him understand that the responsibility was _theirs, _as it had always been. Did they not always do things together? Were they not stronger thus?

He had shaken his head and sighed.

"This is different, Minerva."

She was angry at his self righteousness and unexpected chauvinism. _It's the Victorian in him _she thought. But she did not have time to explain and argue the finer points of female sexual empowerment. Clearly he would not accept that her task was of an equal difficulty and pain to her as his was to him, nor that the risk she took was the same.

She sat in silence for a moment, smarting at the idea of him regarding her as an object of purity about to be defiled. But as he sighed heavily beside her, she softened a little. She would make him understand. And perhaps, when the door opened tomorrow morning, this issue would put them on the road to recovery. With her heart lightened by such positive thoughts, she set about proving him wrong.

"Where on earth did you learn to do that?" He asked as she stood astride him on the bed and prepared to walk on his back.

"I had a Thai transfiguration student when I was a postgraduate. I taught him transfiguration, he taught me the art of Thai massage."

"He?" Albus stiffened as she began to move her feet across his buttocks.

"Relax, or I'll fall off!" she cried as her cat-like balance was momentarily upset. Albus relaxed and she continued her path.

He received no answer to his question, and he presumed from her silence that he was better off not knowing any more about the mysterious Thai student.

Minerva stepped off his back, sat down against the headboard and placed her pillow between her legs. Albus watched her with curiosity and found himself, again, completely confused.

She patted the pillow.

"Come along," she said in true Professor McGonagall style "do you want your head doing or not?"

Albus shrugged, turned over and lay down between her legs, his head resting on her breasts. He closed his eyes as she massaged his scalp, her nails scratching him ever so lightly and causing him to stir beneath his robe. She smiled as she saw him reach for his own pillow and place it on his stomach to hide himself from her view as he grew in size and desire.

"Am I hurting you?" She asked as she watched his hands clench against the pillow, her own desire flowing as she rubbed his skin and ran her fingers through his soft hair.

"Not at all." He whispered.

As she finished the head massage, she lifted herself and him so that she was kneeling behind him and he was sitting up. Then she put all her weight on his back and bent him forward so that his head was almost between his legs. When she released him, he let out a huge sigh of satisfaction, and flopped back down onto the bed.

"That was wonderful." He said, repositioning his pillow over himself as she gazed down at his body from her position by his side. She slid down to lie beside him and placed a tremulous hand upon his chest and began to stroke the fabric of his dressing gown to the side. She looked into his eyes for permission and he nodded almost imperceptibly. He was relaxed and they were ready.

She pulled the pillow away from him to reveal his hardened need beneath his gown. She stroked his chest gently, savouring the feeling of the hair beneath her hands, the softness of his skin. He lay back in silence and allowed her to give him yet more pleasure. _Just a moment longer, _he thought _and I shall return the favour. No tickling this time._

She gave him no time to think further, however, as she drew back the material of his dressing gown to reveal him completely. He gasped as her hands found him and she skilfully began the last task of her massage.


	5. Chapter 5

Not Yet: Chapter 5

Albus rolled over and placed an arm over Minerva. She was crying softly, and he had been the cause of it.

"Forgive me, Minerva." He pleaded."I don't know why I couldn't…"

He did know why. He knew perfectly well why his body had failed him as he had prepared to make the final move to oneness. His mind had taken over as he had taken one last look at her eyes, half closed in anticipation. As he slid his hands between her legs to open them, her eyes had shut tight and the caresses they had shared moments before were forgotten, so that nothing but the dreadfulness of his task filled his mind. _To take her against her will! I cannot do it to her…not to her…not ever._

Her sigh was notched with sobs. The clock struck half past two. They had five and a half hours left to complete their charge. In the last hour they had slid against each other's nakedness, stroking and tasting every inch of uncovered flesh, at last allowing themselves to take private pleasure in the other without guilt or shame. Each had indulged their secret fantasy of the other, touching as they had dreamed of touching, in places they had only ever imagined. But when the time had come, his courage failed him.

Whether it was the belief that she did not love him, or whether it was the fear of being forever awkward together, their friendship stained by physical intimacy that had crippled him, he could not say. Perhaps it was a combination of both. He had felt like a monster as he knelt between her legs, wondering if he had lured her to this bed by his immediate decision to volunteer himself for this requirement of the spell. A spell that could save them…could save her. "For the good of us all, I will do this." he had said, and she had sighed before agreeing too. Had he left her any choice? Would she blame him when the door opened next morning?

Her friendship was his one constant in life, his one requirement and already he had risked it. He must set right his mistake.

They lay apart, joined only by his hand on her shoulder, her back to him, her arms crossed before her, covering what she could of her nakedness.

He ran his hand from her shoulder down her arm and back again, relishing every inch of her flesh. Only a moment ago he had touched her freely. Now he was sure she flinched.

"Please Albus. Bring the sheet up. I feel exposed."

"You _are _exposed, Minerva." He said, drawing the sheet as far as her waist before his attention was arrested by a mark on her hip. _I didn't spot that earlier._ "We are naked."

She half turned to face him, angry that he should chose to make a joke of her vulnerability. He was smiling.

"So you _are _still there." He said. "My Minerva. My fiery friend."

She tried to scowl at the use of the name he called her when she was angry. He had given it to her after she had remarked one day that sometimes she wished her animagus form was a phoenix. She was certain that the calming effects of bursting into flames were worth the inconvenience of having to be reborn each time. The use of this name never failed to dissipate her anger, however, and he had uttered it this time with such endearment that she smiled despite herself, and he knew that he had successfully drawn her attention away from the hurt he had caused. In an attempt to keep it there, he ran his finger over the birthmark on her hip.

"You have a birthmark shaped like a butterfly in flight!" He commented.

"Yes. And you have one like a butterfly with its wings closed on your left buttock."

"Oh you found that, did you? You were very thorough."

She giggled slightly and then sighed as her troubles overtook her once more. There was a silence between them as they stared at each other.

"We must do this, Albus. We must do it together. We have no choice, and we are running out of time. It is not your burden alone. Believe me."

He put his hand to her cheek and kissed her mouth for the first time that night. It was a gentle and light kiss, the kiss of friendship, not of passion. Yet it contained every ounce of the love he felt for her.

"Yes, we must go on. But you must forgive me before we do."

She smiled. "If you will forgive me, then I shall you."

He sighed his relief and kissed her gently again.

"Perhaps…" he began what it almost killed him to say. "Perhaps you should imagine the man you love. Perhaps you should pretend that I am he."

Well that shouldn't be too hard she thought, as she nodded her agreement.

"And you? What will you pretend?" She was not sure that she was prepared for the answer. _Not yet._

"I shall pretend that it is me you want."

And if it is? She wondered. But she did not have the courage to say it.


	6. Chapter 6

I thought I would post the whole of this story for those still reeling from HBP. It has a happy ending.

Not Yet: Chapter 6

Minerva was once again ensnared within her fantasy, only this time, as she snuck peaks at him from beneath her long eyelashes, she was no longer sure that it wasn't real. She watched him covertly as he silently mouthed her name with each kiss that he planted. She felt him move repeatedly lower, and then retreat suddenly to her mouth, where he would kiss her with such abandon that she could hardly bring herself to let him go.

Stay here and kiss me.

One time, she was sure he had heard her wish, for as she opened her eyes she found his nose next to hers, his eyes boring into her. She held his gaze and stroked his cheek. His look was intense, as if he was searching her soul and in that moment she felt ready to allow him into her mind. But just as she opened her mouth to tell him, he planted another kiss on her lips - a kiss so soft in its beginnings and so feverish at its end that she was left breathless and mute. Recovering herself, she tried to tell him, her love on her lips, in her hand on his cheek, in every bone of her body, but he simply kissed her eyelids as she drew a deep breath, and whispered softly:

"Close your eyes." and was gone.

She felt him below, moving lower and lower, his hands all over her, his lips everywhere. Her name mouthed against her skin over and over until she thought she would scream. Once more she felt her skin flush, her heartbeat quicken and her need rush from within as he smothered her with kisses at her core.

Not Yet!

Without knowing what she did, she reached for his hand and pulled him towards her, her eyes wide open, her breathing ragged as she whispered his name into his ear and wrapped her legs around him. He paused as he looked into her eyes, terrified that what had happened before would happen again, but she did not even blink as she moved her hand between their bodies and matched his longing to her own.

With a gentle kiss to her mouth, Albus pushed against her slowly and with much joy as both gasped in pleasure and surprise. Neither could ignore the feeling of completion as they lay still together for a moment, eyes locked, fingers entwined, bodies joined. Minerva arched her back as Albus withdrew and he placed a kiss to her throat as he returned to her, his name on her lips calling him back each time with greater urgency.

They rocked together, wrapped within each other, no longer aware of time. The name of the other graced their lips, interrupted only by kisses and sighs of delight as together they sought fulfilment.

As Minerva shuddered beneath him, Albus too felt his body tremble with release, and he cried her name as he rose above her one last time. He clasped her hand as he fell down onto her breast and into her arms, kissing her palm with all the passion he had shown her, covering her wrist with kisses and swearing secretly to her with each one that he loved her.

Minerva held him within her warmth, running her hand up and down his smooth back, her legs pressing him to her as if letting him go would cause him to disappear. She kissed his neck and cheeks, his brow. She would tell him. She would tell him that she loved him so. When the door unlocked, she would tell him everything. _But Not Yet. _For now, as she felt him stir again inside her, she would content herself with an explanation based on the age-old teaching method of instruction by demonstration.


	7. Chapter 7

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Not Yet: Chapter 7

Professor Albus Dumbledore adjusted his robes as he prepared for the door to open. There were five minutes left of their designated time together, and he made use of them while Minerva was still in the bathroom by pondering his current state of mind. That he was certainly more relaxed than he had been twelve hours ago as he had entered the room, he could not deny. They had carried out _their_ task together and had experienced a great deal more joy than he could ever have imagined, under the circumstances. As he remembered the feeling of Minerva beneath his hands and lips, he was forced to close his eyes and reach for the chair to steady himself as the ache of his love for her hit his stomach with full force. He had shown her he loved her with all his soul, but had she understood? He had thought so at the time, and had even believed for a moment that she returned his feelings. When he heard his name on her lips at the height of her pleasure, he truly believed that she uttered it with love. But doubt had crept in during her absence in the bathroom, and he began to torture himself with possibilities.

The click of the bathroom door closing behind her brought him back to the present. There she was, her usual attire immaculate as he had come to expect from her, the long hair that he had run his fingers through pulled tight in her accustomed bun, her face set in its stern expression as if she was contemplating giving him a detention for his behaviour last night.

He held up her outer robe for her and she moved over and slipped her arms into it, the severity of her expression broken with a smile. His hands brushed against her shoulders as he helped her on with the gown, and her proximity drew from him an involuntary sigh.

She turned around to face him and placed her hands on his chest. She was smiling slightly, and his eyes were drawn to her lips. _Oh to plant one last kiss…_

"Are you alright, Albus?" She asked softly.

__

Is it time? He thought _Not yet. _He was about to nod and tell her he was fine, but one last thought occurred to him:

If not now then when?

He drew a deep breath, took her hands in his and pressed them tightly to his heart.

"Minerva?"

"Yes, Albus?" Her voice was a little breathless.

"Who was it you imagined last night?"

She smiled.

"The man I love." came her reply.

__

Damn it! he thought. _ Why can't I have a straight answer?_

He cleared his throat and looked at the floor.

"You…um…"

"Yes?"

"You called _my _name. Several times." His voice was hardly more than a whisper.

"Yes."

She was more than smiling now. Her whole face was bright and her eyes sparkled as they met his again. He felt hope rise in his heart, and he clasped her hands more firmly.

"Then…is it me? Am I the man you love?"

She freed one hand from his grasp and placed it against his cheek. His breath quickened in anticipation and she felt his heart thump against the hand he still held to his chest.

"Yes!" she whispered.

He lowered his head towards her, his target her lips. He kissed her gently at first, wrapping his arms around her and pressing her tightly to him as all of his love tumbled out of him. His mind reeled with happiness as he felt her arms wrap around his neck, pulling his head towards her as she deepened the kiss. The burden was lifted, the sacrifice gladly made.

The sound of the key turning in the lock, at first merely irritating, eventually distracted him and he broke off the kiss to scowl at the door as it opened on them. A dark figure stood framed in the doorway, disgust mingled with incredulity displayed upon its features.

"Your time is up." The figure snapped. "You have completed the task and all is prepared. You can come out now."

Dumbledore growled at the figure on the other side of the threshold.

"Shut that bloody door!" He roared as Minerva giggled and rested her forehead against his chin. "We're going to need twelve more hours! We can't come out. _Not Yet!_"


End file.
